{"id":921,"date":"2009-10-09T19:24:18","date_gmt":"2009-10-10T00:24:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.artloversnewyork.com\/zine\/the-bomb\/2009\/10\/09\/yo-bro\/"},"modified":"2009-10-20T19:48:31","modified_gmt":"2009-10-21T00:48:31","slug":"yo-bro","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.artloversnewyork.com\/zine\/the-bomb\/2009\/10\/09\/yo-bro\/","title":{"rendered":"~yo, BRO !!"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"ERic
\nabove: artist ERIC SAL & on the right – artist\/blogger MARTIN BROMIRSKI of ANABA !!
\nthank god – it ain’t about skunk city models – so guess those google goons won’t be aknockin’ on your door. this halloween, or will they ? who are we to ruin a good thing, bro !!
\nPHOTOGRAPHED: at the TOMOO GOKITA OPENING – ‘CHAMPION CARNIVAL’ – ATM – MARCH 13, 2009
\nPHOTO: NANCY SMITH
\nsee: TOMOO GOKITA\/CHAMPION CARNIVAL\/OPENING PIX !! <\/a><\/p>\n

FROM THE HOME PAGE:
\nFRI OCT 9: . . . yo, BRO, as in BROMIRSKI !! – paws off our secret weapon – hard-partying artlovers man-about-town & big mouth mouthpiece – SIMON CERIGO !!
\n. . . we hear CERIGO regaled you with stories of the good old days when the Lower East Side – really was the Lower East Side and the art legends rolled, I mean ruled – mighty. ask him to tell ya bout BASQUIAT’S fridge – only pot. pounds of it. too bad he didn’t stick around long enough – to do an MTV – WELCOME TO MY CRIB – spot !!. anyways, CERIGO apparently even touched down with some gleeful reminiscences re: the newly shuttered almost, that’s a-l-m-o-s-t most hated man-about-town – faux dealer to the max – MICHAEL STEINBERG !!
\napparently, BROMIRSKI esp loved the bit – where Simon told him that back in the day he and Charlie, as in FINCH !! – artnet secret weapon and grand daddy mentor to all us cutting edge snarks, sharks, whatever !! – used to chuckle that STEINBERG was more interesting for the $400 shirts he wore on his back – than the art on his walls !! <\/p>\n

so, OK. heads up – ANABA BRAT – if you really want some dirt – next time – ask SIMON what he and DAVID LETTERMAN have in common ?
\nhint: it got NANCY thrown out of ‘QUIET’ & left one unnamed no-talent trust fund baby – who was solely known for running around with a huge baggy of free flowing weed, Simon’s fav artworld species – knocked-out cold on the floor with one blow & in the Josh Harris bio ‘WE LIVE IN PUBLIC’ you can see the Nancy imprinted nail marks on her throat up-close – which she had to have plastic surgeoned away. with daddy’s $$. like I said – if you don’t like the heat – stay outta the kitchen !! still not warm ?
\nthe NEW YORK POST got it right today:
\n“And the No. 1 reason DAVID LETTERMAN is a cad: The ‘LATE SHOW’ host brought his assistant he was sleeping with on Caribbean vacations with his wife and their young son.”
\nexcept in Simon’s case – it was his quote unquote “employer gallerist”.<\/p>\n

so, you might rightfully ask: why we keep Simon on, at least as a spinmeister – well, he has a few redeeming characteristics. name one ? OMG get this – he shows up at ZIEHER SMITH openings, who we just rated as D.O.A. – DEAD ON ARRIVAL – skanky drug dealer pals in tow – piles on the free beer .. and tells SCOTT: “I’m best friends with CHARLIE FINCH” – which gets him behind the front desk to hear all about Scott’s half million buck renovation – and then – he goes in for the sucker punch – “… but I’m also artlover’s hubby !!”.
\nat that, Zieher pointed to the extra unopened beer can Simon had stashed in his shirt pocket and told Cerigo – he “was greedy!!” – to which Simon replies, “whadya mean, I’m gonna drink it”??!!<\/p>\n

. . . ya, just can’t make this stuff up. at least someone, can laugh in this godforsaken sinkhole of an art scene . . .
\nregarding Scott and his art world ambitions – funny, how you can have just about everything – and there’s still gonna be that thorn – that street-wise smart-ass – that’s gonna take you down, and ruin your half million $$ party to boot !!
\n. . . and, truth be told – it is the dirt poor stoner bad boys, and girls !! – who really make & break this town. take a note, ALBERTO !! or, as we like to call him around the office – DJAM !! anyways – Simon’s conclusion to the night’s revelry ? “nobody was there, I mean there were a lot of slackers, but nobody really important”. and the show ? “sort of trendy. some guy. you could see where Zieher Smith was going, but what was his wife wearing ? some purple shirt and these weird boots . . .?” no wonder he’s on our payroll. . .
\nat least the goggle goonies can’t get me – my name is already at the top of this page. and skank city has-been models aside, not to mention celebrity socialite voice mail hackers – the straighter I am going to lay it down. talk about a rose and a thorn. talk about a stoner Greek and a wise cracking Jew. ruling the scene – and singing a song – all the way down – to landlord tenant eviction court . . ah, the life of the rich and the poor. NYC style 2009.<\/p>\n

. . . hey, they were even threatening to take away my internet juice – for lack of 40 bucks !! can you grow it at home, you know, homegrown DIY hi-speed ? somebody tell – Jeffrey D. – those are the kind of ‘Sunday School’ classes – we really want.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

above: artist ERIC SAL & on the right – artist\/blogger MARTIN BROMIRSKI of ANABA !! thank god – it ain’t about skunk city models – so guess those google goons won’t be aknockin’ on your door. this halloween, or will they ? who are we to ruin a good thing, bro !! PHOTOGRAPHED: at the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[4],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.artloversnewyork.com\/zine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/921"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.artloversnewyork.com\/zine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.artloversnewyork.com\/zine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.artloversnewyork.com\/zine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.artloversnewyork.com\/zine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=921"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.artloversnewyork.com\/zine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/921\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.artloversnewyork.com\/zine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=921"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.artloversnewyork.com\/zine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=921"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.artloversnewyork.com\/zine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=921"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}