{"id":13366,"date":"2012-09-06T10:21:31","date_gmt":"2012-09-06T15:21:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.artloversnewyork.com\/zine\/?p=13366"},"modified":"2012-09-13T10:07:50","modified_gmt":"2012-09-13T15:07:50","slug":"family-jewels","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.artloversnewyork.com\/zine\/the-bomb\/2012\/09\/06\/family-jewels\/","title":{"rendered":"~FAMILY JEWELS . . . HONEY BOO BOO . . in Georgia"},"content":{"rendered":"

what a diff a hundred years can . . . make !!<\/p>\n

HONEY BOO BOO vs. FABERGE & THE RUSSIAN IMPERIAL FAMILY<\/p>\n

HONEY BOO BOO ? how low can you go and . . . still come up up shining.
\nless feral than Hushpuppy and fictional, NOT !! and way lucky, too !! young to be hanging with KANYE – this real-life 6 yr-old self-proclaimed ‘redneck’ beauty pageant ‘daisy duke’ strutter and ‘Elvis’ rocker !! “likes to eat”, chills at Walmart . . . and is the surprise-of-a-lifetime to a very jolly – very overweight ‘extreme coupon queen’ mama, who says says couponing “does not require rocket science”, though she is hard-pressed to do the math, “is better than sex”, and oh yeah, she is NOT a hoarder, excuse me, because she is so organized – and she’s right !! so Honey Boo Boo, hush up and show some respect.<\/p>\n

just btw.
\nI think she also compares extreme couponing . . . to, like the joys of having a “crack rock” – or maybe she was talking about something else. in the same context. deal is, nobody batted an eyelash.
\nI mean they don’t look to be a wasted truly trailer park family into drugs, not at all. just noting a regional difference in conversational speech, is all. that ‘crack rock’ is a common metaphor down there, to throw around in everyday conversation is all. maybe like weed is up – here ? what the F ?
\ncause I know – we all love to eat BBQ !! <\/p>\n

yep, Honey Boo Boo is America’s new sweetheart, and if you don’t believe me, just goggle her !!
\nand then, check out her ratings !! ratings never lie !! <\/p>\n

her Aug 29, 2012 TLC episode attracted nearly 3 million viewers, eclipsing both the Republican National Convention and single-handedly serving up a huge smack-down to the always ‘classy’ and super annoying Kardashian Klan. though talking bout which, according to the latest web chatter, posted just 30 mins ago, bye the way (!!) – has got momma bear Kris with her panties all tied up in a bunch – over being usurped by lowlife white trash, and a mom . . . “who is exploiting her child”. said in all seriousness, bye the way. I mean where else could you turn to, for relief from the Kardashians, anyways.
\nTaylor Swift ?<\/p>\n

HONEY BOO BOO vs. KIM KARDASHIAN ? no brainer. enuff with Kim already.
\nHONEY BOO BOO wins !!<\/p>\n

well at least unlike Kim Kardashian, Honey Boo Boo’s big claim to fame isn’t a homemade sex tape – it’s homemade ‘Go-Go’ juice – a potent mix of Mountain Dew and Red Bull that has generated, you know – cheater !! – toddler beauty pageant ‘doping’ charges . . that even escalated to the point where Honey Boo Boo and her mom, June – got on national TV with Dr. Drew, king of the celeb rehabbers !!
\nit’s the biggest doping scandal since Lance Armstrong !! what next – revoke all her trophies ?
\nfirst of all – it’s not illegal, and her mom says it could be worse: she could be giving her – alcohol !! <\/p>\n

if you really watch the interview clips closely, what’s super telling, is that before Dr. Drew actually samples a batch – he asks this 6 yr old country cutie, more or less: “now you’re sure this doesn’t have any amphetamines in here ?” and the little darling responds without missing a beat, NO. silly !! it’s just caffeine and sugar !!
\nman, I didn’t even know what CAFFEINE was – when I was 6.
\nlook how far we’ve come as a collective culture, or what.
\nI mean ‘hoarder’ didn’t even enter my vocab – until a few years ago, either. talk about clueless.
\nso much for the magic of mass entertainment.<\/p>\n

no wonder they have a meth problem down there. <\/p>\n

but never you mind. cause we are amovin’ on . . . we’re now dealing with Honey Boo Boo’s sweet but unwed 17 year-old sister, Anna aka ‘Chickadee’, and her<\/em> newborn baby – who, alas, though nobody’s really saying it out loud, they’re just letting the photos do the talking, for now – didn’t pop out quite so deliciously sturdy as the original clan. and what’s more . . . she has 2 thumbs on each hand. ok, things happen, but put it this way, one of the middle sis’s . . . was already caught dunking the newborn’s pacifier into a cup of Mountain Dew, before shoving it in her mouth.
\nwhat’s with that Mountain Dew anyways, maybe I outta get me some . . . and people make fun of Suri Cruise for swiggin’ Perrier. hey, lay off the kids. this is New York, we got our own issues.<\/p>\n

but hey, this is Honey Boo Boo’s time to shine – so don’t get me wrong !!
\n3 million viewers can’t be all wrong, and we’re all sick of the over-enhanced ‘reality’ stars that have been shoved down our throats. and anyways, after Snooki, where else was there to go, but down, or seriously . . .up ? so finally someone, TLC . . . broke the mold. there’s no telling, when and where it’s gonna happen – and that’s half the fun !!<\/p>\n

AND don’t get me wrong, I’m a huge fan, where do you think I’ve been all these past few days . . . just sucking up all I can. it’s super fascinating, pop culture. <\/p>\n

one conclusion: I’m sure her fab fab nickname has something to do with it. kudos to her mom !! there is a sweetness and lovingness that permeates the family, I don’t even want to tell you about seeing hardcore hardlife inner city moms smacking their kids around – in the subways here. or the converse upscale divorce casualties, “acting out” on your kid in school, and let’s not even get started on: tiger moms !! <\/p>\n

I’m also (super) loving her mom – for demanding that she, the hillbilly mom, be filmed – just as she is. lank danky hair and all. if you watch the youTube clips of the earlier network interview shows: she once let them doll her up and it was a disaster, thank god she had the sense – to put her foot down on that . . . and maybe that’s what – we’re all lovin’ !! <\/p>\n

see: good intro . . . HONEY BOO BOO – “We’re fat !!”<\/a><\/p>\n

watch: meet . . . HONEY BOO BOO and her family.<\/a><\/p>\n

OF COURSE, since . . . what is it – that they say: you always KILL the one you love !! <\/p>\n

now, all everyone is talking about how TLC is ripping the hillbilly family off – by not paying them standard ‘reality’ star fees. oh great. so what’s next ? we’re going to have to watch them move en mass to Calabasas ?
\nwhere maybe Paris Jackson and Honey Boo Boo can hook up and be pals ?<\/p>\n

anyway, if the newest clip – below – is any indication – the HONEY BOO BOO craze just might have over-extended itself, or . . . . JUST FRIGGIN KEEP THE KID – out of NEW YORK.<\/p>\n

or did her mom forget . . . the ‘Go-Go ‘ juice ???<\/p>\n

more like got . . . intimated out of administering !! ha. <\/p>\n

P.S. I could see it in your face though you were far too polite to say it: you are so right !! HONEY BOO BOO – those guys they put you up with – are LAME.<\/p>\n

I’m down with the commentator who added . . . <\/p>\n

“HONEY BOO BOO – JUST LEAVE HER ALONE !!” <\/p>\n

see: HONEY BOO BOO on EXTRA !!<\/a><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
\nFOOD LOVER. HONEY BOO BOO . . . She was once a mini beauty queen and a Toddlers and Tiaras star, but now HONEY BOO BOO has admitted her food-loving Georgia family is ‘fat’. TLC \/ mail online<\/a><\/p>\n

HONEY BOO BOO . . . in her prime.
\nall good things don’t last forever . . . esp after the networks get to work on ya.
\nHONEY BOO BOO – this is YOUR 15 mins !! hope you make it out – ok !!
\nyou go girl. and, your mom – too !!<\/p>\n

what up – next ?!!<\/p>\n

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * <\/p>\n

AFTERTHOUGHT: WHAT’S IN A NAME ?<\/strong><\/p>\n

p.s. what IS it about a catchy name, anyways ? you know K.K. – KARDASHIAN KLAN, ad nauseaum . . . <\/p>\n

HONEY BOO BOO . . . <\/p>\n

now that’s good. real good.
\nif you’re diligent, y’all will catch – the ‘commentary’ on the youTube sites.<\/p>\n

the best sub-genre is the black vs white trash ‘talk’ – claims and counterclaims.
\nas in ‘HONEY BOO BOO CHILD’ . . . !!
\nfor which someone actually claims that . . . the origin for that type of poor manners ‘lowlife’ culture ‘swagger’ . . . actually came over here with the low class whites – who were ‘exiled’ from the uppity eastern seaboard colonies to down south – where they in turn, taught it to the ‘slave’ blacks, so it’s really white trash talkin – not black man ‘wannabe’ jivin . . !!
\nno kidding, look it up for yourself.<\/p>\n

NANNY RAW RAW . . . ?<\/p>\n

maybe I should change the site’s name to – NANNY RAW RAW !!<\/p>\n

a struggling artist – who never made it – spouting her brains out on the internet. <\/p>\n

just joking, NOT !! <\/p>\n

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * <\/p>\n

oh yeah: FABERGE & THE DOOMED RUSSIAN ROMANOVS – NOW ON VIEW AT at the MET – UP, NEXT !!<\/strong><\/p>\n

Faberge . . . as far as you can get from Walmart – in just 100 years !!<\/p>\n

FOREVER vs DISPOSABLE. <\/p>\n

in materials, craftsmanship, and, in . . . ‘fame’.<\/p>\n

here’s the deal. <\/p>\n

you kill the one you love – as in HONEY BOO BOO – being exploited to death by national media attention. and sure to burn out. just as quickly as she lit up. <\/p>\n

and the ones you kill, the Russians assassinated their imperial family in the revolution of 1918 . . . live on forever ? <\/p>\n

HONEY BOO BOO vs FABERGE & the RUSSIAN IMPERIAL FAMILY – in a nutshell.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

what a diff a hundred years can . . . make !! HONEY BOO BOO vs. FABERGE & THE RUSSIAN IMPERIAL FAMILY HONEY BOO BOO ? how low can you go and . . . still come up up shining. less feral than Hushpuppy and fictional, NOT !! and way lucky, too !! young to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[4],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.artloversnewyork.com\/zine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13366"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.artloversnewyork.com\/zine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.artloversnewyork.com\/zine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.artloversnewyork.com\/zine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.artloversnewyork.com\/zine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13366"}],"version-history":[{"count":18,"href":"https:\/\/www.artloversnewyork.com\/zine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13366\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13504,"href":"https:\/\/www.artloversnewyork.com\/zine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13366\/revisions\/13504"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.artloversnewyork.com\/zine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13366"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.artloversnewyork.com\/zine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13366"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.artloversnewyork.com\/zine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13366"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}