the local YALIES – JOIN THE FRAY – and, stick by their guy – !!

“in terms of SALTZ vs STORR . . . JERRY SALTZ is a lounge act.
Have a show with some titties in it and he will write a review.
Have a nice ass and he will write a good review.”

“Also ‘Rob’ has only been there since 2010/11 . . . if the art world is so fast that we should have the next hottest artist in 5 years . . then NO thank you !!!!!!”

artlovers: why the hell, not ? have the art world be so fast.

and YES, the art world can be that fast !!
in fact, that’s when it is at its best. other-wise it can be pretty banal for all that anybody else claims,
and not only DO YOU KNOW YOU IT, you being all the new wave of up and comers, not just the Yalies, who are a strong contingent this year in particular, but YOU WANT TO BE – . . THAT HOT artist, rising to the top, really really fast, really really badly !!

like within 1 year of getting that hard-won Greenpoint apt, or that postage stamp-sized Bushwick studio. if not just so that you can pay rent, but so that you can actually eat, too.

and, further . . tell me it isn’t so.
for any newbie who hasn’t scored a gallery, no matter how shaky, within 6 months of getting here, depression lurks around every corner, every new Facebook friend’s event, is a crisis.
it’s a veritable musical chairs, egged on by social media !!

bring on the Greenpoint – Yalie shipping containers !! now, that’s a well-done solution, D.I.Y !!
olordy, I can just imagine it, the competing newbie pop-up shipping container – wars !!

anyway, I heard on the grapevine, that “ROB STORR is an incredible educator who is not doing the Columbia (!!!!) thing – which is to be hip and fashionable.”

artlovers: Rirkrit Tiravanija . . . are you gonna take that – lying down ?

the composite newbie: “I am biased, but I went to YALE because I don’t care about the SALTZ’S in the world. I don’t care about the VITO SCHNABEL’S. I make work. I make ideas, and I really believe that most of my classmates in the graduate program feel the same.
also, YALE gives incredible FINANCIAL AID and scholarship – much more than most other schools. I would never have been able to study there if ROB had not restructured the program from the BOCHNER/HALLEY days – they used to have LOBSTER DINNERS.”


artlovers: well friggin no wonder BOCHNER/HALLEY got so many students into galleries here, everybody knows that’s the way into the critics’ inner circle here – give ’em a lobster dinner. if SIMON, SIMON CERIGO, RIP was still around, he’d be chirping in right now, like a little song bird !!

ghost of SIMON CERIGO: private, LOBSTER dinners, bring ’em on !!
key to many a success.
back in the day, when MIAMI BASEL was just baby stepping it, they threw huge LOBSTER-LOADED BUFFETS here in NYC – to get the NYC collectors on board. I often saw that power duo, ROBERTA & JERRY . . at the private, night-before-opening lobster-laden previews at DAVID ZWIRNER.

artlovers: SIMON . . . if truth be told, adored and worshiped at the altar of ROBERTA !! Roberta and he always greeted each year, esp as the years grew into decades, with many a casual pleasantry, and much info exchange, on Simon’s part. Robert a was more tight-lipped, being the paid professional.
Simon could always tell when I had written something really outrageous, or in frank opposition to her point of view . . . just by her expression !!
then he’d rush home, and exclaim, what the f did you write – ?!!

in fact, whenever she stopped to converse with him, no matter how briefly, he would rush home to report it like a grade A report card. then he would call CHARLIE FINCH to make the requisite nightly report – his encounter with Roberta headlining the night’s events.

back to Zwirner.
SIMON was probably the only starving artist – they let in to the lobster previews. I mean the dude did get around, he spread the buzz, and he liked – that Zwirner European agenda.

for sure Simon jump-started the tidal wave craze for . . . THOMAS RUFF.
starting with the first online found porn blurry images of 2001, 2002, and 2003.
come to think of it, Simon was a bit of a ‘lounge’ act, himself !!

but he also totally loved THOMAS RUFF’S blurry landscape photos and, the crazy abstract ‘Substrat Series’ . . .

as for Roberta ?
Simon would have been very hurt that she and Jerry didn’t show for his memorial, or even make one dedicated line – addressed to his untimely passing, back in Jan 2013 – in either of their press platforms.
although both the OBSERVER and artinfo came up with some well-written, much appreciated, and not forgetting the character at hand . . entertaining obits !!

archival photo of SIMON CERIGO, when he was just about your age, 28 or so.
when he was a newbie – hoping to make his mark on the scene, the photo was taken just before he was about to split Montreal for NEW YORK, and never look back.

the archival – exhibit card for:
CHRISTOPHER WILLIAMS. the self-titled show ran November 21, 2001 through December 21, 2002.
(wow, right after: 9-11 !!)
Reception: November 20, 2002, 6 to 8 PM
DAVID ZWIRNER, 525 West 19th Street, New York, NY 10011

the card is on real solid hard stock, a full 8 x 8 in. – that’s the way they made ’em, back in the day.

SIMON . . . used to collect all the cards from the shows he saw, which is pretty much every show that ever happened in NYC. uptown and downtown. there was no real Brooklyn – yet.
he didn’t do early Cinders . . too much fun !! all the better for me !!
we tried to divvy up the scene between us, so we pretty much – had it all covered.
he did mainstream, Soho, Chelsea and uptown, including the auctions. the last big uptown opening he made,was the inaugural show of . . Venus Over Manhattan.
I did underground, and the BREAKING FAST / HARD CORE. street art.
I generally hate uptown, I like . . just being born. fast, and no money !!

Simon liked . . money guys.
even though they used him, and spit him out. ok, so what, he got into a lot of huge parties.
and every now some ‘user’ collector, of the uptown Japanese mafia elk – would throw him $1,000 bucks – for a DAN ASHER.

better boot up, newbies. this is a tough town.
that’s what it takes.