~JERRY SALTZ vs ROBERT STORR . . the class clown wins !!

talking about ‘throw-downs’ !!
did I call it right, or what ?
they are gonna be calling him . . “FLAY-EM ALIVE” BOBBY – for sure !!
100 bucks easy, the January Jones’ kid – is his !!

but . . back to art:
what the hell is wrong with being . . the class clown ?

JERRY SALTZ wins – hands-down !!

who knew the art critics’ inner circle was so full of full-blown, knife-stabbing . . fighting, er, passion ?
in-house conflict, and blood feuds !!
I mean, I didn’t know . . just how I influential, I was !!
speaking about non-stop . . blood feuds.

I’ve been zeroing in after . . ROBERTA SMITH, like a heat missile – for-ever.
as long as I can remember, back when . . if you didn’t get written up in the New York Times, your whole show was a complete waste of time, and – then, if you didn’t get written up by the #1 in-house fascist arbit-traitor of mundane taste, i.e. Roberta – your work wouldn’t sell. no way. no chance.
where shall I start ?
putting up on the ‘must-have’ list, that stuck-up poster child for wannabes . . RACHEL HARRISON, as if !!
was the final straw for me.
taking down SHEPARD FAIREY and absolutely trashing CATTELAN’S fantastic, circular wonder of a hanging retrospective at the Guggenheim, going so far as to say it . . “was career-breaking” – !!
was the final straw that broke her iron grip – for many others.
meanwhile, I bet that that Cattelan show got the best attendance numbers any museum has scored, esp for a contemporary artist – in this city, for many many a decade. I bet it even beat the recent KOONS retrospective – for attendance.
of course, she still has penned many exceptional reviews, most notably on historic shows, but the lock-jaw power she once wielded on ‘calling’ the new art – has greatly diminished, and all for the better.

on a more personal bloodbath cause: she completely let JOSH HARRIS and the ‘QUIET: WE LIVE IN PUBLIC’ crew – the biggest pop-up art party, let alone brilliant social networking forward vision / seed – ever to happen in NYC, fly right over her head. even when the documentary on the downtown 100% hardcore artist caper – won Sundance 9 years later. not one line. not one comma of ink.

she wrote up that puny lightweight at FEATURE, HUDSON sorry RIP – and, not a peep about SIMON ? SIMON CERIGO – who she knew very well . . in passing, their paths crossing many times, over many years – as both trawled the gallery opening circuit. I guess bonafide c-h-a-r-a-c-t-e-r-s, just don’t count.

meanwhile, even though JERRY, who isn’t always the sharpest knife in the drawer, he didn’t get JOE BRADLEY at first, and he definitely missed the ‘skills’ memo (!!) – he sometimes lands right on the mark, just because he does take those fearless leaps, only a true fool can. ok, so he doesn’t have the greatest ‘eye’. he thinks . . with his gut, and that’s alright by me.
somebody he stood up for, who I pooh-poohed ? CARROLL DUNHAM !! and Jerry was so so so right.

I would even venture to say, Jerry’s seriously blade-flashing, ja ja joshing take-down of MICHELLE GRABNER, last year . . YALE’S biggest and greatest white hope to date, Saltz kicked her around like a soccer ball, remember ?!! was what really pissed – Storr off, and set his blood to boiling.

you know, of course Jerry was right, what a lame artist if I ever did see one, let alone a cutting edge curator, and don’t even get me started in on that . . . the WHITNEY: lovely new building, same old same old curators. MARY HEILMANN painting wooden deck chairs ?!!
damn, almost as tantalizing as MADONNA DEEP-KISSING DRAKE . . !! !!

yep, while ROBERT STORR might stand for a few things, he is definitely the tipping point in the great critics’ war, the great ‘take-down’ . . of 2015 !! (apologies . . throw-down Bobby Flay )
trust me, Storr would not be opening his mouth, not uttering a peep, not disturbing a fly, if he thought it would come back and bite him, i.e. adversely affect the fate of the hordes of art students, he sends out each year into the raging fires – of the NYC art scene. which pretty much eats them alive, but that’s another story. and in this respect his candor is all the more refreshing, and remarkable.

yep, for sure, the sharks – smell the blood in the water.

see: Yale Art Dean Robert Storr on How Today’s Art Critics Suck, Especially Jerry Saltz . . THE OBSERVER. April 10, 2015

JERRY SALTZ, senior art critic at New York magazine . . . does his thing. NYC, Sept 15, 2007.

and, if you don’t believe me about MICHELLE GRABNER, being the w-o-r-s-t
check out: her website, MICHELLE GRABNER . . for yourself – !!

according to her current professional listings, and ROBERT STORR by implication – she was imbedded into YALE like a dirty sponge – in the role of visiting Professor / CORE CRITIC (!!) from 2011-2014.
well, I guess that gig is over, apparently.
the soccer ball mom got bounced.

wanna bet $100 . . nobody much better – took her place ?