~JEFF KOONS, no no no . . . & OMG, did I do that !!

happy APRIL FOOL’S DAY !!

PHOTO: Image by JAMES CORNER FIELD OPERATIONS, DILLER, SCOFIDIO + RENFRO, and JEFF KOONS. COURTESY of Friends of the High Line. c/o NEW YORK TIMES

read all about it: ‘High Line May Mix . . .’, NEW YORK TIMES. MARCH 26, 2012.

they’ve got to be joking, right ?

UP-DATE: MONDAY APRIL 2, 2012

JEFF KOONS wants to hang a full-scale, steel and carbon fiber replica of a 1943 steam locomotive, weighing several tons – near the High Line park, so . . . no – it’s NOT an inflatable. and, no – not even a transparent one at that. too bad.
but for some commonsense – there goes the inspired respite of the High Line.
forget the swinging baby metaphor, it’s more like: take down a tree, and put up a parking lot.
(or, as they like to update it in Brooklyn: take down a Cinders and put up a nail salon.)

the Koons’ train that is – not the High Line, which is subtle and sublime, welding visionary design with function. all the while keeping it low-key enough to give its park goers true respite, delight, inspired greenery, and open vistas – which is the right direction to go – fast forward into the city’s future, while guarding it’s historic past.

. . . the last thing this city needs is a threatening, over-size heavy metal urban metaphor dominating the landscape, and upside down to boot … you done seen one too many Independence Day movies, Jeff. put it in the desert, or put a lid on it.

and enough with the hangings already, CATTELAN opened and closed the book, and most charmingly, on that. it’s not a genre. if you really want a train museum, take it down from that dumbest-idea-ever crane – and install it on a barge, floating off the Chelsea piers – and charge people a dollar and a half – to see it. and why replicate it, don’t they have any real ones lying around somewhere crying: help ? it’s so pumped-up artificial, conceptually backwards, not to mention basically uncrass, un-green, and really non-lyrical, what could anybody ‘crushing’ on it – be thinking ? so much so . . . one’s tempted to say, must be the money.

Koons might be thinking big, but it sure ain’t smart. whatever happened to gigantic hush puppies built on the thinnest of infrastructures – filled with flowering plants, once so ahead of the game, you look to be bounced off the tarmac. yo, keep it light, it’s the only way to hang, I mean fly !! . . . into the future.

UP-DATE: TUES APRIL 3, 2012

they’ve got be joking, TAKE TWO.

or: FILE UNDER – OOPS, DID I DO THAT ?

omg, does a little bit of art world joking invoke a thunderstorm these days, or what. who knew there were so many art world aficionados out there, beyond the usual suspects, like Williamsburg, Bushwick . . . and San Francisco ?

I mean seriously, I did just crow about having ‘radar’, an original ‘WE LIVE IN PUBLIC’ co-pilot – but I’d really hate to think these guys would pick up on such small ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’-like oneliners coming out of NYC, and what happened to artistic originality anyways ? you’re stepping on my copyright, dude.
oh man. if it wasn’t too sick for words, I’d be laughing.


“CHILLING: This bizarre announcement is appearing in several Arabic Web Forums”, is the caption under this image – published in the NEW YORK POST, on pg 31. today APRIL 3, 2012.

see: ‘THEY’RE BA-ACK – COPS PROBE SPOOKY QAEDA ‘THREAT’, by JAMIE SCHRAM, NEW YORK POST, APRIL 3, 2012

guess there is no joking these days – that’s the scary thought. you’ve got to ask yourself: is the New York City art world the last bastion of humor – ? there are some serious haters out there in the world, and I guess the sad conclusion is: don’t ever forget it.

on the other hand, I guess it’s fair to say, wiseguy – watch the rhetoric, it’s a tinderbox world, and the old rules are out whack with the ways & reach of the web ?
someone tell me this is just my imagination – please.

well so much for the power of an image. no, the hanging train was not a good idea. and apparently making fun of it – was not either.

and I don’t think it’s just my imagination.
so, time to re-consider art criticism ? how about freedom of speech ? how about giant suspicious hanging packages ?

no jokes – and no bullying . . . in the brave new internet world, we are gonna have to learn a new language: bland speak.

WE LIVE IN PUBLIC. no joke.

and I thought my biggest problem was having my hip hop graffiti artist pix – lifted by 3rd language websites, and re-published without my permission, no original source photo credits, and NO good way to resolve – now that’s copyright violation. and that’s the future for original content providers – that’s where web pirating is heading: into the void of global babel. you think it’s bad now, just wait. though apparently an image can still speak a thousand words.

guess it could be worse – I could be talking about the upcoming art ‘fairs’.
b-o-r-i-n-g.
or joking. is there no middle ground anymore ? nope, not that I can see.